Long time...

I know it has been forever since my last post. Guess that means I have been busy. Can be a good thing. 
Well I am surviving. I am happy even tho I am as broke as can be. I hope to start waitressing again next week so that I can start to pay the bills again. My mom has been off work since last October so it has been verry tuff at home.  My personal plans have been put on hold even longer because of that. But hey, you gotta help family when you can. Not that I have been able to do much. 

I just love being here watching my niece and nephew grow up. Now and then my niece will say something cute and the rest of us will lol! For example: We were gettin ready to leave and she was headed to the door and said "vamonos!"  She says the funniest things. Then she was part of a x-mas program at a church in town, she turned to the little girl next to her and took her hands and started to do the motions for the songs they were singing. Then she tapped the little boy next to her on the shoulder when he was bent down to tie his shoes, he is 3 and didn't know how to that, neither does my niece. She tied them in knots for him. We got it on video.
My nephew is so damn cute! He loves his auntie. He smiles at me all the time. He does this growl/grunt thing and stiffens his body. I growl back at him and we go back and forth till one of us laughs. He is trying to crawl but so far has only found "scoot" "drag forward" and "reverse." Oh and if he wants to get anywhere quickly then he rolls to it. Very amusing to watch on the kitchen floor. 

I survived my first ice storm and had fun trying to drive my car on ice. We were going down a small hill and hit solid ice so that when I tried to stop, we slid. I turned my wheel and did a 90degree turn. Cones were in the road so we didn't have much choice but to turn. We had to go up a steep hill and since we didn't have much momentum we slid down a bit. We came to a stop and my mom sugests that I go down the hill in reverse. I could hardly see out the front or back windows as it was so I started the car rolling backwards and made it slide doing a 180 so that we were facing the direction we were sliding. That was FUN! Scared the chit out of my mom who had insisted we try to get back to the house to check on the dogs. When we tried to go up the hill and started to slide backwards, we knew our only choice was to go back to her mom's and stay another night. She had started to suggest to go another way then thought about it. The dogs would be fine. 
I made it out in the morning and found we had no water as well. Thought the pipes had froze but as it turned out it was that the well had no power. We were glad for that bc that ment that our pipes wouldn't freeze and we won't have that mess to clean up. So many tree branches had broken off.  The property was a mess. Still is. Gonna be a while to get it all cleaned up. 

Well enough for now. Hope everyone has happy holidays and safe travels.
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    hopeful hopeful

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I am thinking about closing my lj account. I only get on here once in a while as it is. I would rather just do a myspace blog. 

Well it's a thought at least.

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Well Thursday was intresting. My mom and I went horse back riding with the neighbor. I used a kids saddle. I have gained weight since I have been here but not in my butt, I guess. Now I know you are picturing a small saddle. The girl used it when she was 9-13ish. It was rather comfy. 
Now comes the fun. The girl wanted to run her horse and mom and I said go ahead. We can handle our horses. So she ran and then so did we. I did well enough. My mom realized that the stirups were a bit too long for her. None of us fixed it at the time. Stupid, stupid.
Next time we all ran I pulled in a little early and watched my mom get thrown. She hit hard and was up walking a few mins later. My sister came to us with the truck and followed us and the horses home. I rode the horse that tossed her. Seems stupid too huh? well if I didn't then it would be harder to ride him next time. When we got home my mom got back on the horse and walked him in a circle.  Then she got in his face and made sure he knew he didn't win.
She didn't break anything. Just a few bumps and bruises. 
Well time to make dinner

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Been here in Missouri for a while now and I am loving it. I may get to keep one of my mom's puppies. She said we'll see what happens. I think that means that it may be my birthday gift a little early. The one I have grown fond of is a black and red little girl. She is playfull and lovable. Too smart for her own good. I have been trying to play with all the puppies but....what am I to do when the one keeps comin back to me. Right now they are crying out in the dog house. I am sure they are just hot right now.  It is one of those muggy hot days. Cold showers are wonderful til you get out.
The chickens crow most of the day here and they start at about 5:30am. It don't get dark till just b4 9pm. Long days short nights. I don't normally get to bed till at least midnight. Depends on work. I am now a waitress. I am done training. YEA! I get to keep my tips now!!!
Today is my moms birthday. We are cleaning house.  Sounds fun right? 

Let me tell you that storms out here are fun.

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Rich is right. I do not wish him ill will. I love him too much for that. I will always think fondly of him. He taught me that their is more than one way to think and that people can change for the better. I will cling to that. 

Rich,
If I could get past the tears I would tell you everything in my heart but I choke on the words for they never seem to be able to express how I feel. Oh so pretty are the words tho inadiquit they are.

Yes, it's true...

Some have asked if the rumors are true about me moving. Yes they are true. I am Moving to Missouri. My family has agreed to help me get on my feet and I will be helping them too. I went for a visit and to watch my nephew be born and let me tell you just how awesome that was!!! (or at least I would tell you if I could put such feeling into words) So yeah, I leave soon and I am not one for good-byes and stuff as they have a tendancy to make me want to change my mind and this is one of those times that I shouldn't change it. Several of my friends have done me favors and if I want to return them then I need to go. I have a choice of jobs waiting for me when I get there too so I won't be taking a week to do any searching. 

The only thing I ask of you, my friends, is to take care of eachother. Don't worry so much about what you get out of helping eachother as the fact that you can help should be reward enough and you never know when one of your friends will win the lotto and think of you. After all, your friends are the family you get to choose.

I will be a few clicks away....and some day I shall be back. 

Till then, I will miss all of you. 

My journey awaits me........

  • Current Mood
    anxious anxious

Where is Lady Luck?

Things are changing. They are going to change fast. If I get just a little luck on my side then I will be able to help those who have helped me. I may explain more later. I may not. I may just act or show instead of just tell....you never know anymore....

and the winner is...

Love Revisited

I had fear in my heart
I let it rule me
When it came to my dreams
I let the words of others
Fill my mind with doubts
Telling me whats best
I took some quiet time
Listened to my own heart
Consulted the Goddess
About now and tomorrow

I found you still there
Deep and true you stayed
I want to be with you
Making our dreams come true
One day at a time
Side by side
Heart to heart

I am sorry I hurt you
What is done I can't undo
I can only promise
To share what's in my heart
Share what's on my mind
Give you everything I can
Without losing sight of me
Without losing sight of you

Loving you is where I want to be
The tears, the pain
The happieness again
The good, the bad
I want what we have had
Will you continue the love
Will you have me again, still?
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    hopeful hopeful